The learning and growing just never stops.  So many lessons I have learned from my pain.  In anger born of hurt I have made so many mistakes.  An emotion so great it overwhelmed and in my despair I listened to the poisonous whisperings of the Father of Lies.  He seeks to destroy my happiness, and to use my pain as a means to destroy another.  In recent days we have triumphed.  Not the final war, but a victory nonetheless.  A renewing of my soul and a healing of my spirit has taken place.  I turn to Torah study in my weakness and I am given new strength.  I have learned to trust as I have never trusted before, to hand over my pain and accept my weakness without fear.  Finally I begin to learn what it means to be a wife.

 

The Kybalion speaks of a simple truth, there is rythm in all things.  Those who hurt deeply are gifted with equally exquisite joy.  All is compensated.  We have spent our time in sorrow and pain, the tide turns now as it comes to an end.  So I pray and I study, and I thank the Blessed Holy One for His mercy.  For indeed He has been gracious to us.

You loved me before the scars

Will you love me after?

Eyes that danced with laughter

Now weep in sorrow

A heart bursting with joy

Now breaking from the pain

 

You know who I have been

Will you help me remember?

Strong will, never compromising

Now second guessing

Sharp mind, a search for wisdom

Now lost and afraid

 

So farI have come

Victories fought, battle scars of proof

You never left my side

Even when I ran

 

Will you hold me when I cry?

Will you help me remember?

And will you love me after the war is won?